Also known as the Tomy Turnin’ Turbo Dashboard. Great.

Does your child want to experience the joys of driving? He does? Well tough tits – he’ll have to put up with this bizarre contraption instead.

Essentially a collection of dodgy mechanisms, the Racing Turbo features no racing and no meaningful turbo. It clunks, whirs and shudders like some kind of steampunk robot whilst looping a small drawing of a road in front of your child’s eyes. They can do little but move a steering wheel, which causes a picture of a red car to move about. There is no interaction. There is no joy. There is only whirring and clicking and disappointment.

Then it breaks.

Also! Introducing Failed Reviews! Where I talk about things I didn’t review for one reason or another. Like a PS3 controller charger, a fake DS LIte and a tiny little mobile phone that proved a little less than reliable.